Mean and Green
by Acengreenstreak
Summary: AU. Oneshot. Buttercup's life is at stake and she seeks help from the most unlikely of people.


Centered around Snake because he's badass. Rated T for language but lemme know if I should tone it down to keep the rating.

* * *

"Hey Monty!"

Snake veered, minding his own business just to be lashed at by the world's angriest 9-year-old.

Buttercup was eyeing him from the living room floor, back to the bottom of the couch. Her arms were folded over the old Misfits tshirt Grubber lent her.

He barely walked out of his room for crying out loud! Well, two could make the stare of death, and his lip curled back. _"What?"_

"Where's the thermostat in this lousy dump? I been freezin' my butt off all day!"

Snake rolled his eyes within the safety of the fridge; if _anyone_ would be freezing around here, it would've been him. Judging by the way her foot was ramming the floor, she was probably just bored of that kung fu movie Grubber brought here awhile back.

Looking back in, he scowled. Crummy thing always gave off an annoying hum when it was opened, and a weird smell that must've checked in before they did. Today's pickings were condiments, beer, and a box of baking soda (that had also checked in _way_ before they did). Snake's eyes narrowed deeper, if the guys left all the drinks in here again, he was gonna murder someone. You'd think living under the same roof for 10 years would hint to leave out some for the guy who was half-

"EY! I'm talkin'a you!"

Snake told himself he was gonna give Ace a _biiiig _thanks for the mound of influence he had on her (and Grubber for watching all those British sitcoms).

He popped a top on one that wasn't _too_ cold and headed into the dragon's keep.

"Look kid, we don't like it anymore than you, but Ace-"

"I don't _care_ what Ace said!" Snake shirked; she proved that right, his ear was bleeding...

His _eyes_ still shot for the door. "Keep it _down_, will ya?"

Anger was her middle name. Her eyes _burned_ with it. "Aaaagh, I _hate _bein' stuck like this! What're we supposed to do until they get back?"

Snake rubbed his head agonizingly. Sit back? Pop a lukewarm one? Enjoy the peaccce and quiet? Living with the gang in MANY a half-assed shack made him want to _kill_ for a little of the stuff. And now, Ace was 3 million miles away, Grubber left to grocery-grab with Billy, and Arturo had gone out with some chick...

Leaving him alone with the kid.

Buttercup thwapped on the remote so loud he couldn't even believe it wasn't broken. "And this thing won't stop quitting on me."

He cocked a brow with no mercy.

"Then get the batteriesss outta your pocket."

The kid jerked up (what, like it was hard to miss all the clacking) and shot him the world's ugliest stink-eye.

"How come _I_ always gotta find a way to pass the time? Why can't you all figure out a way to make it go by faster?"

Given a choice, he'd like it better if it didn't. As it _was..._

"Well you're not getting any beer from me."

It was just a lame joke, but after it came she stopped boring into him and grew the shit-eatingest grin.

_"Ace_ let me."

He had to roll his eyes at that joyful moment. Yeah, good call, boss. 'Specially when she turned out to like it. The _gang_ hadn't even tried booze 'til a year after starting up (he had been around 12-ish), and Little Miss Badass over here even got over the taste.

"Yeah, you really wanna turn out like him." He uttered blandly.

Puff's jaw practically clicked open, and then she curled in on herself, looking like Billy did when he found a penny under the cushions. "I am _so_ telling him you said that."

If she was looking for a rise, she was gonna be disappointed.

"He'd tell you the sssame thing."

Kid sighed and flopped back into the couch.

Snake ran a hand under his hat; Ace was always better at this, even when he didn't mean it.

He took a look at green puff for a minute...then a step closer, and after she didn't fling up to pile-drive him took up the empty spot.

They didn't always have it so crappily. Two years ago he probably would've hissed at her as much as anybody in their neck of Townsville.

But things changed.

After everything settled down, post-Mojo-enslaving-the-world and stuff, word about the Powerpuffs spilled like oil slick. Every pit and crack of The States got filled in on the pint-sized supers. No big deal, right? Everybody loved those Powerbrats, and it looked like no disaster, nuke or monster that was out there could stop them.

Big mistake.

Turned out the government decided a long time ago that three kindergartners were more trouble than their worth. Probably spent years laying it out. Figuring how it'd happen, who would get it, where'd they have 'em.

And then...

At first everything just felt weird, according to her. One day they came home from _fucking second grade_ and the old man was gone. Nowhere. Splitsville. Didn't even leave 'em a note.

The girls made a few calls. Nobody saw the guy. Didn't even know he was gone. With no end to turn up, they decided to try and stick around. Thought maybe he was just late. Wasn't like him to just disappear...

So they waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

On day 4, Bubbles was blubbering at the drop of a hat, and she and Red Puff were getting into it about what to do when Blossom picked up the hotline again.

Thing was dead.

...Buttercup got this look on her face he thought none of them would forget. She probably never even knew the what word "helpless" meant, but it was there all over her face. The other two were more familiar: rage and regret. She said that should've been the hint to leave. But they waited to head out the next morning.

Snake gazed into his beer. He could never say he knew the feeling of having a real parent, much less miss one, but it was still easy to notice when it reared up.

And Buttercup...never really got over losing her old man.

Wherever he was.

"Ey,"

"Boss" was definitely getting it in the face when he came back.

He looked down. "What?"

Damn those eyes were big. "Can't we let in some air? I'll duck out upstairs."

He, Ace, Arturo and Grubber all took whatever was worth sleeping on the main floor while she and Billy took the attic. Just in case anybody _uninvited_ came in.

Snake hissed. "...Maybe when the guysss get back."

He tilted his head back for another and she slumped-

Damn! Snake pulled the can from his face, foam got sucked down the wrong pipe. He hacked as fizz and bubbles burned-

Bubbles.

He gave another sigh. Poor, naive widdle Bubbles.

Buttercup said they wound up at the park, after another useless search-and-rescue. She and Blossom were thinking up a new strategy, and little puff blue cruised over into the forest. No word, just wanted to be alone. They figured she probably wanted to go and meet a few animals.

Boy did she.

Blossom, now _that_ must've been a hard one. Bow girl wound up finding their little bug operation in the house, so they packed and got the hell out of there. Flying only fast enough for no streaks, and be mistaken as wind. They ended up crashing in any coverage they could find. Holes in monuments, between billboards, even the sewers if it could keep them out of sight. Anything for camouflage.

And then puff number two got nabbed.

Only it wasn't supposed to be just one.

Snake could remember that crackdown like yesterday. _All _of Townsville got a piece of the action. Monsters in Townsville weren't anything heavy. Everybody knew it, the other cities knew it, even the monsters way-off knew it. Everybody coming here knew what they were getting into. There _was_ a whole damn island just a long swim away.

But there was no way that thing came from Monster Island.

Big, shiny, breathed fire, and made rubble by walking. He didn't know whether it was a hit-for-hire or some kinda secret breeding program, but the boys in black where ready when it was over.

Wrecked, totaled, demolished. Nothing came close to how that thing tore the hell out of the everything. He felt the ground shake to the point it roared right along with it. Anything that didn't come hurtling down was ready to snap. They could see the flames piling up from the flimsy shack at the dump. They'd never been more glad they nicked a spot on the outskirts of town.

Being the goodiest-goody after Bubbles, Blossom took off, with Buttercup right behind her.

He forgot most of the details up 'til the end, but in a nutshell, they got pummeled.

From Buttercup, that was saying a lot.

That ear-splitting little pain in the neck never backed down from a fight. Mostly because she never lost. But this guy...every time they got close they were walloped, thrown up, beat down, piled over, shanked and shivved. All that was left was to fight long-range. When they tried _that_ they got singed, seared, and fried. It didn't even stop the couple times they _got_ a few hits on it!

In almost nothing, they were wrecked now. Spent, burnt, and barely seeing through the exhaustion.

Bloss hadn't seen the last blow coming until she was face-up, lying motionless down in the concrete. Buttercup hadn't before it turned hard and sent her at least 10 miles from the scene of the crime.

Coincidentally within reach of their little ol' dump.

Each of them almost hit the roof. Who the hell could be knocking on their door at the time like this? Ace said unless it was a bunch of shaking supermodels, they were in for it.

Sharp claws wiped the beads all over the can.

Smoky, woozy, limping a little. Clothes were shredded. Hair torn. Obviously still on fire by the sound of it.

She rolled her head up with everything that was left.

"Hel-"

_FWUMP!_

So she'd flopped down, drained to nothing, on the dingy front porch of the shack, everybody just standing around in dumb shock. He didn't know how long they were like that, could've been hours, then another huge roar shook the ground.

Don't ask them why, they never really thought about it themselves.

Billy put her out, and once all the windows were blocked, they waited.

Ace knew what he was thinking without even looking (he shot glances to keep the shack from getting _more_ panicked). Yeah, having her around was dangerous, having her _here_ was lethal. And if anybody got word, good or bad, they'd be dead meat. He was still figuring how this could turn out, one way or another, before making a call in the first place. Him? He just wanted to drop her off somewhere in the dead of night.

Arturo caught their attention. "Is she dead?"

"Pffffft,"

"Dah, Billy don't see no breathing."

"She don't _'ave_ to." Ace cut in.

"Then what we gonna do, Ace?" Arturo said.

"Tone down, I'm workin' on it."

"Pfffffft,"

"Yeah, Billy, put her on the couch."

"Billy don't wanna touch powerpuff..."

"Pfffffft!"

"Yeah, if she was gonna pound us she'd woulda done it by now. Stop bein' a baby."

"Billy NOT A BABY."

"Pffffft!"

"C'mon, man, she don't weigh no more than your shoe."

"Pfffffft!"

"Could probably get my cousin to pick her up,"

"Yeah!"

"Pfffft!"

"He just tuned a hotrod last week-"

"Duh, Billy get more water?"

"Pfffft!"

"Can't tell if the hospital burnt down-"

"Billy get shoe?"

"Pfffffft!"

"Dunno, can check-"

"Pfffffft!"

"'He may have lent it to Rosalita for-"

"Pffffft!"

"I toldja I can't see, man, check the place yourself!"

"Pfffft!"

"BILLY NOT A BABY!"

**"SHUT UUUP!"**

_"SSSHUT UP!"_

Well they had to do _something_ to make them cool it.

Then, she groaned.

Arturo and Billy forgot about what they were fighting over and clammed up. They all dropped the bull and went back to the powerpuff who was coming back to life on their floor. She still looked pretty out of it. Eyes kept trying to peel, never blinked when they came in her line of sight. It was pretty clear she had no clue where she was or what was going on.

Kid grunted as she tried to sit up, but all that happened was she got a little more tense and then quit. Snake fought that little feeling trying to well up inside him. Stopped it dead, in fact. Life just proved, like always, that it was best to ignore.

"Wh...what's happening?"

"Pffffft!"

"Daaah, we thought you was dead, Buttercup!"

"_Si, _you had us clutching our tickers!"

It had been awhile, and yeah they (mostly him) were a little pissed about old times. But all that evil government shit had really creeped them out. Long-story-short she wound up sniffling on the old, holey couch with Grubber and Billy patting a shoulder. Ace sat bass-ackwards on an old chair, trying to look badass, had their last cigarette in hand. Arturo was on Billy's knee, and he leaned against the wall while she gave 'em the whole sad story.

Kid's shock was painful, and they all had the sorry duty to tell her just because a few people liked you, even a lot, that wasn't a blanket for everyone else. She had it pretty good, before this load of crap started piling up. Warm bed, blood that wanted her, place that was alright to live, all the stuff they never had as kids.

But now everyone was wondering how the feds were gonna nab the toughest of all three. They weren't sticking around to find out.

She could stay, but there were gonna be some strings attached. And, dare it be said, _rules._

Townsville was a no-go. They had to leave the minute she could handle it. They were gonna be moving around _a lot_ and take only what they needed. That much she expected. What she hated came next.

No superpowers in public. No heat vision, no superstrength, no curling her tongue. No she couldn't fly even a little, choppers would be on them in a heartbeat! Three: Crime fighting at minimum. Let's face it, asking that kid to stop cold was like asking Uncle Sam to fuck off. So they gave her a limit. Only petty human criminals like muggers and stuff. Maybe a monster, if it was tiny, but overall try to keep it to herself. Plus, with her looking the way she did, there was no mistaking her for anyone else. She had to lay low, and pretend anywhere they lived had as much powerpuff as Citiesville.

Her only job now was to stay kicking.

Snake consciously downed the rest of the alcohol, trying not to think _too_ hard. In another year, Buttercup would be 10, and he'd be old enough to drink (without all the fun, that is).

Kid hadn't changed much over the years. Little taller, arms and legs a little longer, no fingers and toes at all. She'd get snippy, but that was just the bullcrap she had to put up with. Staying inside most of the time didn't sit well, but they all saw that coming. She'd pace the whole room, find stuff they forgot, and even kept Billy busy with a flashlight for an hour.

Staying still started being an unseen act of torture. Buttercup had to punch, kick, fly, hop, blink, anything. Didn't _do_ "inside all day." A fact her old man musta been proud of.

When it got too heavy the boys suggested exercise. That night Ace came back and found a long blur going on and off the living room floor. He muttered, "What the..." and Buttercup stopped doing one-armed push-up's. When she told him about her personal record, Ace half-smirked and suggested she hop-scotch on up to bed.

Seriously, all he had to do was ask and she'd have already done it.

Grubber was the parent-y one, or the one who took on all that stuff. Kept watch on what she ate, what she viewed, what she saw (ever since getting a new addition to the gang, any and all "cushy" business was taken outside the apartment).

Billy and Arturo just acted like she was one of the guys. Even though she was the only one who took _special_ attempts at setting him off. The rest of the time they were just pranking each other, knocking stuff over, pinching stuff. Sometimes, not usually, but it happened, Buttercup would pick up on them too much, and Grubber always intervened in that case.

_Ace_ didn't give a damn most of the time, and Grubber couldn't exactly tell him to cool it like the other two, so that's when he stepped in. Ace was an ass, but he could be brought around to seeing things their way. He guessed that made him the official buzz-kill. Mostly just hung back until someone was going to land them in serious hurt.

As attentive as Grubber was was as lenient as Ace was. He didn't exactly...okay he _didn't_ have the guts to spit it out yet, but he didn't want it to turn out to be another scheme. Maybe thinking the kid would wanna repay them or just like them enough to change things up. ...Then again, Ace never put this much heat into a scam. He usually lost interest if the pay-off wasn't so close they could see it coming.

Damn but that jackass let her get away with murder. Especially when it came to setting him off just for the hell of it. No restrictions, no curfew, and _genius even let her take his beer, _all because she asked!

But it was everybody's job to look out for the feds.

They never stayed in one place longer than a week. Nobody cared where a group of lousy, no-good street punks went, especially if they were old enough to move on with their lives.

Buttercup always made like nothing bothered her, the headlines showed her family and their faces up in headlines or on the news. So far as the public knew, everyone of the Utonium's just went missing. It wasn't a brain-teaser to figure out. Kid always said feelings were for suckers. They thought she wasn't totally wrong, but still had their "moments." She saw them get bummed out and then waste a bastard in the same day. Still nothing. Compared to her, _they _got too emotional.

Snake shuddered, at least puberty was a few years off. He was _not_ handling that alone.

Then he jumped.

He shirked left, turns out her head just on his shoulder. Little pint had fell asleep.

Couldn't okay that. Nocturnal powerpuffs were even harder to keep an eye on.

He nudged it under her.

Buttercup groaned. "Whadda you want, Blossom?"

"I'll tell you when I grow a giant bow, and can't ssstop bosssing people around."

Those bulgy greens peeled open.

Buttercup hoisted up, and Snake headed on toward the kitchen.

"Wasssh up, kid. I'll order sssomething to eat."

She flew off and he went for the phone. Fugly piece of junk, like everything else around here. Cord had more knots than Grubber's ne-

Something squealed. Snake spun around. The door was coming open.

His foot went toward the living room.

"I told y-"

There was a muted _zip _and he would have dropped it if that wouldn't give him away...

Buttercup gave a cry of pain turned into fear.

He moved, slowly.

A guy in black was blocking the light out. Without taking his eyes off her he shut the door behind him, the untroubled look on his face making it all the more creepy. He stepped across the room toward the kid, not making a sound, just a blank, shaded face. He didn't even react as she was clawing away from him. Her, tough puff, green streak, scared out of her mind.

He didn't think the guy saw him, and slithered right into the thick of it. Buttercup was shaking, _mostly _from confusion, but she was obviously growing weaker...

Snake's eyes dashed to the weapon in the cop's hand and didn't miss the gigantic "X" sitting on top of the vial.

The man barely had time to speak before something knocked his shoulder blades from behind. Within the next minute, he was gazing up at a blurry, frightened girl in the arm of an irate...

Monster?

All thoughts got wiped away through a kick to the face.

The guy went rolling and knocked over a dingy table, corner eating it into the screen of the cheap set behind it. After that he went right into _him._

Buttercup could feel powers almost gone now, and she clung to Snake like he could slip right out.

He kept her in one arm and pummeled with the asshole with the other. Wouldn't even give the fucker time to breathe. Bastard kept coming low, never thinking it was nothing for a meptile to dodge a hit to the stomach. He didn't spend his life of crime on the streets for nothing.

One hand shot up to the arm with the kid and bitch got the _snarling_ of a lifetime. He let out one ugly hiss and threw off the fucker's sunglasses.

The man fought tirelessly to ward off the creature and get back to HQ, quarry in hand. Still having some ammo on him, he jabbed it into the creature's gut and pulled the trigger.

He glanced up.

And gawked as a sharp smirk crossed the black shiny lips.

Oh he felt it, right under the ribs too.

But anti-X only worked on Powerpuffs.

Snake leaned forward, never letting that fanged grin drop...

And bit him dead in the firing arm.

With a shout of agony, the anonymous agent reeled back, taking all of them to the floor. Buttercup woozily scrambled away, the agent desperately clawing out to nab her ankle.

"Uwaaah!" She kicked him in a panic, growing more and more paralyzed at the effect it was having.

The man roared as a knee drove into his gut, and a set of claws dug into his fa-

"LET OFF!"

"Listen, I don't want any-" He yowled again, Snake having seen him going for his jacket; he came down on the unsuspecting wrist with no mercy. The real firearm clacked to the ground and he sent it scurrying across the room. Buttercup's eyes glowed, but grew dim just as fast. She swayed as she tried to keep off the floor...

The guy looked real scared now. Wouldn't keep his eyes off him. He thought that he wouldn't notice him still grappling for the kid? He reeled back and was about to rip into the guy's ne-

BASTARD!

Wriggled just like his mama taught him underneath killer's arm, slipped out and lodged an elbow under his chin. Hoped that hurt. Guy snarled but still looked more interested in Buttercup. He took a dive and rolled right within arm's reach of the kid. Snake went in. Another roar as he landed a solid hit to the gut. With that he shot over and grabbed up BC before he could get up.

"Look! Just come quietly and there won't be-"

"NO!" Buttercup strained away from the man, her eyes wide and shiny with panic.

Snake kicked the waste of space from the room. "SSSSHUT THE HELL UP!"

Fell back against the wall, cheap pictures shattering down.

What he'd give for a metal pipe.

Guy came full-force at him now. He dodged when a bulky shoulder tried to run its way into his gut. It was tough keeping tabs on him and the kid, but it was nothing undoable. It was all just throwing and dodging now. The whole "half-monster" bit didn't seem to be working as well as he thought it would, so any growling that came out of him was mostly reaction.

Buttercup still latched on, taking peeks in-between burying her face into him.

He side-stepped a jab to the neck and swung a bunch of claws at him. The hit was a near-miss, he felt it graze the jacket. 'Nother kick to the ribs almost got him, if it weren't for the broken TV right behind him. He smirked as his shiny little boot found its way into a wall of glass. A roar of rage now left him, and he grabbed whatever he could get. The leg off the table.

Damn...

One arm full of scared kid, the other empty with nothing to nab, he wondered how he was gonna pull them both out of this one...

Until the entire shelf came down, hitting the floor with a huge thud.

He (and probably Buttercup) watched as all its remains scattered to the floor. While underneath someone groaned and expected it to shove up again, but nothing.

All was silent.

A pair of shades glinted as the shover glared down at the damage between them.

Snake gawked up. "When'd _you_ get here?"

Ace titled his head their direction. "Sometime around 'Shut the hell up.'"

They all looked. Completely trashed the place. What junk they used to pass the time or make existence a little less boring was now beaten and battered.

Worst: they'd been _found_.

Now the feds had 'em. Which meant they had to vamoose.

Ace looked at him. "S'all been said and done. You're not gonna believe what Muds said about a government tryin' to kill ya."

Snake only watched with blotted vision as Ace knelt down and took a look at everyone's favorite powerpuff. Took only once glance to see poor kid was shaken. A chafed green hand ruffled her hair. "Y'alright there, Buddacup?"

Still not making a peep, she gave him a nod.

Ace wasn't fooled. "Ey, he ain't botherin' you no more. I guarantee it."

Snake cocked a brow at Ace. "We're leaving?"

He nodded. "Tonight." He glanced with that caculate-y look on his face towards his room. "I'll explain it all when the boys get home. For now start packin'." He gave another pat to her head, then set off to his room and let the door fall shut behind. Leaving the kitchen to grow thick once again.

Sure, deep down they knew there were some official eyes looking out for them, and anything that needed to happen happened fast. They moved plenty of times before, with their heads down and their wits out, but nothing like this. Somebody just tried to take out _the kid_. They would do it in a heartbeat, no thought.

She was still shaking, her eyes growing wider than usual. A look anyone who grew up too soon could read. It finally hit home. They could find out where she was, take her powers from her, who knew what else they were going to try? They wanted her gone. She finally got that this wasn't a game. These guys were coming for her, and they weren't Mojo: nobody was going to stop them or punish them or try to lock them up.

Snake looked down. "You ok, kid?"

Buttercup stared at her feet. "I guess..." A little too timidly for herself, she looked up. "Does this mean I can go out now?"

Snake smiled. "You can go out asss long asss you want."

They'd be gone by morning.


End file.
